Raising a child comes with a lot of challenges. Especially boys. Why you ask? Let me tell. Messes are inevitable with children. They puke on you, they poop on you, and they pee on you. Boys more so than girls. Not that you can’t be peed on by girls. But male anatomy and lack of control of said anatomy leads to parents being peed on more by boys. My first experience with this was giving Gideon one of his first sponge baths. **For those who don’t know, sponge baths are common for newborns because the umbilical cord hasn’t fallen off yet and cannot be submerged in water.** I had everything all set up. The bowl of water was warmed up, the towel was ready, I got him undressed and out of his diaper. It was then I learned my first lesson in giving a boy a sponge bath. DO NOT take the diaper off until you are ready to bathe there. I only got sprayed a little on my foot (we were on the floor) but the towel got hit, the diaper got hit, and the carpet got hit. Since he was only a week and a half old, it wasn’t a big mess. The next experience I had with this was when he got to take his first bath in his whale tub. Once the baby graduates to the little baby tub the diaper comes off before the baby is placed in the water. It was so fun and cute! He was reclined in the warm water. I was getting him used to the water with the little elephant sprayer that’s like a mini shower. Things are going great. I get his head washed. I go to wash the rest of his body annnnnnnd…. You guessed it. He peed in the tub. So that was a challenge. How am I supposed to bathe him with pee-pee water?!? We made it through that moment, and since then haven’t had another incident of him peeing in the tub. That is all of the main pee incidents for me. Now for the motherload.
I should have realized this moment would happen eventually. It happens to all parents. Having this knowledge still does not prepare you for the reckoning. Star Date: September 21st, 2024. It was a normal day. I fed my child. I played with my child. I saw that he needed his diaper changed. **Fun side note: Since becoming a parent I learned a new thing about diapers. Although this could just be they’ve been updated since I last changed a lot of my siblings diapers. There is a yellow line on all diapers that turns blue when wet. I don’t remember that being a thing, but it is very helpful. Back to the story.** We get on the floor, and I go to change the diaper. It was like any other diaper change. He peed. He pooped. No problem. I get him wiped up, and I am putting the new diaper on him. You know that saying? When shit hits the fan? I thought he was just tooting. Nope. All of a sudden a streak of murky death shoots out. It gets on me, the playmat, the carpet, and the clean diaper. Nothing went unscathed. Fortunately, he wasn’t wearing socks, and his clothes were pushed above his waist. I was shocked. Wondering what had just happened, I got everything cleaned up. Here is what I sent Jesse because I was trying to process things.
The next thing I will tell you doesn’t compare to what happened to me, but it makes me feel a little better. A couple of days ago I asked Jesse to change Gideon’s diaper while I got ready so we could go eat with Sassy. We were trying to decide where to go. He started to change the diaper and got peed on. He had to go take a shower. It was hilarious. That’s kind of an anticlimactic ending to this story, buuuuut it was humorous.
HAHAHA I love the disappointment when Jesse got peed on and he was just like “well I guess I’m gunna go shower”
I know sometimes some things are not laughing matters but this had me splitting a seam.